january 3rd, 2008

This morning I went to see Dr. Green Goan again. At first I was scared and shoked when he mentioned something about the leg being out of place.

My Goodness! Out of place!! And where was it exactly? I do not want my leg being anywhere else than right next to my tail, No way!!. But it seems that in the end everything was well and in place. So I could go back home.

I understood I have to keep on doing that strange thing with the leg, moving it but not going anywhere, for something called 'muscle reinforcement', whatever that is...

Then I have been a little sad. Encarna is gone, as everyday, to some place she calls 'Damn-job' so I stay home alone... well, in fact, not that alone, since there are a few CATS at home. I see them through the glass door and I tell you they are very irritating tiny beasts. Specialy the black one : he sits to look at me with that up-town-rich-boy kind of look, you know what I mean, and he even DARES to yawn in my presence, like I was a boring dog, no less!

It has been raining the whole day and, although I like to walk in the rain, is not funny when I have to do it alone, so all in all, I went somehow melancholic and begun to think about all that happened in my life. Because in spite of what some people may think, we dogs do have memory, only sometimes is better to forget when the memories are sad. I do not want to think much about when the one that I thought it was my friend, got so upset that she ended biting me and, next I knew was my owners took me out of my home and drove me to the place I've been staying untill now.

I wish tomorrow the sun will shine and I cheer up a little... Hey, I hear the door, I think is time for exercicing my leg :-).

january 6th, 2008

Ever since I went to the vet last thursday, Encarna is constantly calling me 'Ronaldiña'. It must be something very funny, since she always loughs at it, although she says she is not loughing at me, but with me ........ seems it has something to do with the colors of my new sock, but I do not quite understand it. This socks issue is driving me nuts. I have seen on the table all those socks ready to be used to replace the ones I so carefully try to spoil... really, I have to get well soon, otherwise I won't be able to deal with all these sock stock!

Today was a wonderful day, not too cold and shining sun. Encarna and me went for a walk to the park nearby and sat in a bank, well, Encarna was sitting in the bank reading, me at her feet. I have seen lots of people and cars and other dogs walking by in the park. Some people stopped to say little things and ask what had happened to me and when Encarna tells them my story, most of them look at me and say 'poor doggy' or ask me if it hurts a lot... all of it supported by sweet taps on my head.It is so nice when people shows affection!

Tonight I had a very nice dream. I had to be very young and small because in my dream everything was quite big around me, and there was a smell I had sensed before,it was familiar to me but I couldn't recognise it at the moment. It brought me to a warm and safe feeling, some caring arms holding me. The dream was so intense that I'm sure it was more a memory than a dream... it's hard to believe nobody wanted me that way before I ended up in the shelter. And I can't remember having done anything that bad to deserve being put out of the home... I'd like to live that warm feeling again, to be longing to welcome my human friends when they arrive home, to make of my human friends the reason of my life and thus be able to swim in all the happyness there is. Because nothing gives greater sense to the life of a dog that the love of a master. Will there be somebody for me?

uh, oh... New session of gymnastics. Uffff!

****

january 11th, 2008

I've been very busy lately and I neglected a little my diary. I'm really overloaded with work.... I have to eat, to sleep, do some gymnastics, go for walks,and back to sleep, to eat..... much stress for somebody in a healing process like I am. And gymnastics is sooo boring. Sometimes I feel some remorse because I have to admit that I'm not making it any easy to Encarna...

The truth is that I have many things to write about. I have made a pile of friends in my walks in the park, human friends and doggy friends. The issue of the friendship with the cats deserves a whole chapter aside.

Today we have been sunning with Encarna. We met several dogs that came to the park but I have not been able to play because of my leg, the abrupt movements and the falls are everything but good at the moment. But we enjoyed a long and fullfilling olfactory time. There is nothing like smelling the many grades of friendly scent of other dogs.

While I dozed in the sun, I thought that I don't want the time go by. I'd almost accept to have a bad leg for the rest of my life if that would mean I could stay in a home where someone would love me and care after me ... Not that in the shelter they treat us badly or so, not at all, they take good care of all of us, but... is not the same. We are so many in the shelter to share the loving moments that it always feels very little

Encarna told me she is sad I can't stay at home forever. She mentioned again that awfull thing called 'Damn-job', so I bet it must be really horrible if this is the reason why I can't stay with her... But she promissed me she will try hard to find someone who loves me like she does and who will bring me home. I hope Encarna can achieve it. .

Monday I have another appointment with the vet. We will see what he says.

I'm exhausted, too much writing. I think a little nap will do pretty well.

****

january 17th, 2008

My worst fears became true!. Stripped!! STRIPPED! I knew it. Thank God the white one with the piggy goes underneath, otherwise I'm not going out, no way!

Today the gymnastics time has been very funny. For once it was me loughing at Encarna. Uups, excuse me, I meant loughung with Encarna (ha, ha, ha).

january 20th, 2008

It's been already 3 days since my last input in the diary. And I haedly realized. Time flies sometimes. I settled down in a very wonderful routine. Well feed, relaxed, doing some gymnastics and walking in the park, where I meet my almost old friends by now and I'm able to have a reason to wear out the awful socks (ha, haaaa). And of course, I do fitness... all these modern stuff for a stray dog like I am! It's hard for me to recall that times when things were so different for me...

Today we have been in our bank in the park. Encarna was sitting there, listening to some music, following the rythm with her foot as I was observing the world around me. Cars, people, dogs walking around me and the sun warming the air so nicely I started to doze... Then Encarna took advantage of my lazyness and started with the manual gymnastics. Then, whe she was over with it, she looked me right in the eye and told me she had to tell me something important. And she said she knew I was going to be adopted and that she could think of at least 5 reasons for that to come true.

She pointed her thumb right at my nose and said :"because you are a very intelligent and good doggy, friendly with all the people who approach you".

Then a second finger was pointing at me : "because you are affectionate and playful with the other dogs you meet in the park and because, although cats are not your favourite friends, and they tease and provoke you, I still have 4 cats at home''

Third finger before my nose : "because you are clean and obedient and you have learned in no time the meaning of the word NO, since you already know that means something wrong or something dangerous is about to happen"

Fourth finger coming : "because you have been with me just a few weeks and you look at me with such a loyalty and love in your eyes that sometimes I feel deeply moved".

Now the smallest finger is there :"and, the most important, because I say so". And then she kissed my nose.

I hope she can see the future and, in spite of my weak leg, in spite I'm not precisely a puppy anymore and in spite I'm not a pure breed (Encarna says I'm a mix of German Shepherd and Indefinidus Hispanicus), well, maybe there is somebody who wants me. Uaaaaa! I think I will cry.....

****

WAHHHHH¡!!!!!

I swear I didn't steal it to Mr. Spock, I swear, I swear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****

february 3rd, 2008

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Mr. Green Coat. I hope he says everything goes well. On one hand, I wish my leg gets better but on the other, I'm afraid when I'm completely healed, I'll have to go back to the shelter. Not that the shelter is a hell, is not that, but it won't be like it is in here... I can go out for a walk in the city and see many things, I only have to share the affection with Lluna, another dog. And there are some cats in the house, but they're not important at all

Well, let's not get blue now! Today I have seen something I like very much : the huge area shaved for surgery is getting some new hair on! The truth is that my looks were rather weird with part of my back naked, let alone what they did with my tail.. it looks like someone stuck a fluffy fake tail in my as... ups! sorry, my buttock. The hair is still very short, but at least it covers the shaved part and it doesn't looks bright pink anymore!

A very peculiar thing in the house is that now and then it rains cats! (literally). Some days ago we were cleaning indoor, (well, Encarna was doing the job, I was just dozing by her) and all of a sudden a black cat fell on top of my head. And, although I was the one 'being attacked', that stupid cat started yelling and hissing at me and even slapped my face!!!! who the hell he thinks he is? And to make matters worse Encarna was rolling on the floor, loughing to tears. Seems the cat was so curiosly looking from the stair to the upper floor that misscalculated the step, so he just fell down on me...

When I am relaxed in the sun, without doing nothing special, I think on important and deep things. One of most recurrent issues is about cats being created with the only purpose of annoying us dogs.

****

****

february 27th, 2008

Neska you are great !!!!!, the best one!!!!

And that's not my saying, but Encarna's

during my evening walk today, I used correctly my leg. At last!! :-)

Goodbye, stupid sock!!! won't be seing you anymore, galactic shoe!!!

Welcome dignity and self-confidence !!!

****

march 2nd, 2008

This morning when I went to eat some ham... ups, I meant, to have my tablets, I realised it was a wonderful sunny and bright blue sky day.

This house is full of dsurprises... a few days ago it was 'raining' cats, then it came something fluffed and full of feathers fell down to my patio, something they called 'Partridge'. It was quite funny to play with it, but it didn't last long... Encarna came and took it. I don't understand why, we were having lots of fun, it definitely is much better than the ball I usualy play with. Encarna set him free out in the forrest :-(

During the noon walk in the park, Lluna (Encarna's little dog) and me, met a nice gentleman with his doggy, who told us he had adopted from a shelter, then we met a lady walking Brida, her blind dog she rescued from the street and welcomed in her family along with a nice and talkative black cocker. I can't help wondering how come that being all of them people, some are so nice and friendly to us while some others seem to have fun being cruel and misstreating us? What causes they are so different? I have known all these people who call me by my name, which take care and love the animals with which they coexist and also they are affectionate with all those they meet in the walks.... It is very rare. Perhaps a plain doggy like me is not meant to understand such deep questions.

And I can't understand either what's going on with my leg. I mean : In the beginning, after the surgery, the leg was not there. Well, yes it was there but I couldn't feel it. I knew it was there, since it was following me around., I could hear it crawling behind me. And now that I do feel it, that I notice it's there, sometimes it doesn't obey me. How can you explain that? Normally it behaves well, but sometimes it decides to turn into an idiot and to twist the foot wrongly again. I've heard them say that I"m-prove" (?). I think they mean the leg is doing whatever they expect of it. And that is because most of the times I put the foot in the right position when walking. I hope it finally will behave.

march 21st, 2008

I noticed that eating is very important for human beings. It is too for the rest of us, but with people this is not only meant to feed, but a way to stablish relationships between them. For instance, one of them says 'how about going out for a cofee?' and then they sit around a table, drink their cofee in just a few minutes and then, they keep talking over and over for hours... Why they don't just say 'shall we meet and talk'? awsome! they talk, chit-chat, lough... and now and then, they eat

Well, those who are living with humans, do share these experiences... After the 'Caneloni' and 'Crunch' experiences, now I've discovered the 'softdiet' one :

Semms that on my last night walk in the park there was something wrong with my intestinal activity. Encarna usually makes no personal comments concerning to this, other than 'wait a sec, I have to pick them up', but last night the comment was more or less 'wooooow!!!! diarrhoea! you will need some soft diet!... and soft diet I had.

Is not that bad, to be honest. Maybe a little lacking some taste, you know what I mean... but not bad. And the good side of it is that this kind of food is PERFECT to avoid eating the pils, ha, haaaa!

****

march 29th, 2008

Today was a great day... I went to hairdressing!!!

At 10 a.m. we took the car. I like the car. I watch thorugh the window and I see other cars with people inside which look at me...

We went to Alejandra's hairdressing shop and Lidia took care of me. She brushed my hair, washed the whole of me to dry me afterwards, then cut my nails, cleaned my ears... in a few words: the whole thing.

Brushing is just great! Getting all wet... bearable. But the drying part is a hell!!!. And in teh meantime Encarna was madly shooting pics like a paparazzi at a celebrity wedding!

With so many pics, I don't thing any explanation of the process is needed, except what Encarna says about me smelling like angels now, ha, ha.

I hope I'll see Alejandra and Lidia soon enough, but I think oher about the drying machine...

march 30th, 2008

Yesterday's bath got terrible consequences, well, not exactly the bath but the big tasty bone it came after it.

There are many mysteries in this life, really, and one of them -I think I have mentioned it before- is about the reason for the cats to be in this world. Big mistery. Another one is how come something THAT good can have THIS nasty consequesnces?

I'll explain myself : the big tasty ham bone made my stomach really 'turbulent' and when it stormed out, it took Encarna 3 bleached water buckets and 35 minutes cleaning the mess...

Will have to put some meditation to this... anyway I'm back to diet and have not much else to do... :-(

april 6th, 2008

Today it has been a very sad day. During our morning walk we have learned that two of my friends have left us.

'Granma' Brida died peacefully as she was sleeping and the handsome setter whose name I never new, but to who I used to say hallo everytime we met, died because a cancer. He was 11 years old.

I wanted to say some words for them here, in my diary, since both dogs had a second chance when their actual families adopted them after being abandoned.

Life and death are things that happen to all of us and are way out of our control. We don't ask for birth, and of course, we don't choose when or how to die. That's why I think they are not important by tehmselves, what it is really important is how we live and how we die.

Both my gone friends, after some bad times at first, had a happy life, they got love and warmth from their humans. And they died surrounded by that very same love when their families couldn't do anything else after try their best.

I think neither humans nor dogs could ask for anything better than that.

****

may 4th, 2008

It's been quite a while since I 'wrote' in my diary, it's hard to get the strength that takes to transmit my thoughts. I feel soooo weak and somehow depressed, like nothing cares anymore....

I'M HUNGRYYYYYY!!!!!!

Encarna, says she doesn't have anything to do with that, it's all Dr. Greencoat's fault and that the food manufacturer says it only should be 340 gr for overweighted dogs... I don't know how much is 340 gr, but I definitely know what my stomach thinks about it : a misery!!! I wonder if that stupid manufacturer has ever eaten 340 gr... if he EVER tasted his own dry food!!!

If not for that emptyness I feel inside (of my stomach, that is) I would be very happy these days, since Encarna didn't go to the 'damnjob' and this means longer and more frequent walks, 'siestas' in the park while she is reading and telling me how thrilling is the book. The sun makes all things brighter... and my empty dish is shining the most... Sorry, I'd better change the subject

There is a big mistery in my life... the longer I live with humans, the more... freakies I find them (no offense). The one holding me on temporary condition (I mean Encarna, of course), is not an exception to that. She is a nice person in general (besides for the food issue which I'm not talking about anymore) but she is a bit freak : why is she telling me lately “ Sprechen Sie deutch” and then starts loughing? she says she has a little secret she will tell me one day soon and that this strange sentence is a clue to that secret and then she wispers in my ear it would be a good idea that I get a nice passport pic...

Now I'm curious! someone please help me...I won't be able to stand it with no food in my bellyyyyyyy!!!!

****

may 28th, 2008

How abandoned is my diary!!!! And it is not really my fault. My literary technique has a weak point. It goes like this : I intensely think and, in a way I don't quite understand, my thoughts happen to go to Encarna which puts them in a paper sheet. The weak point, the loose link is, of course, SHE. I have been sending thoughts to her until my neuron hurts. And what does she do? she looks at me, smiling foolishly and says “Neska, I don't know what happens to me, I am a little strange”. And she's not talking about the food. I can assure she does not have any nutritional problem. She says that “she is a little low”. In fact, she has never been very tall, at least since I know her. Rather the contrary. I don't quite understand. Only I find it unfair that all my creativity and freedom to express my feelings are limited by some centimeter more or less. And, deep down I believe is just a matter of lazyness.

And just at the moment in which I have so many things dancing in my head. I am going to move to Germany! Finally the “Sprechen Sie deutch”? mystery has been revealed : A German family has adopted me, and they are going to let me live with them. And I am a little confused. Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? Is it possible to feel confidence and fear all together? I have always thought that this mental disorder was typically human, that we dogs are more rational beings. Apparently there was a certain degree of error in my theory.

I am sad to leave because Encarna will be sad. I am happy to go to a definitive home where, I hope, I will be able to live forever. I am proud and I feel trusty to think that someone believes I am worthy to share their lives, but I am scared to disappoint them. What if they find me less beautiful, clever or whatever they can think of they were expecting from me? What if I do something wrong and they stop wanting me? This already happened to me once... Encarna says everybody loves me because I am an “adorable little thing”. And I want to believe it, although sometimes is hard to trust her when she calls “little thing” to a 30 kg dog. Then again, this is another question.

Sometimes, in our dreams we find ourselves before a closed door and we doubt, we reach our hand to open it and then, in the last moment we retreat. What will be behind the door? This is how I feel. But lately many people have taught me to trust and to wait for the best of them. So, best thing now is to open that door and keep looking forward with no fear and confidence... and that's what I'll do.

I knew when my secretary would start working again, my thoughts would show up easely and with no confusion.

Ah! And note everybody that she is still as tall as she was before and, nevertheless, she writes, so that one of “I am low” keeps being a mystery to my.

****

june 10th 2008

For the first time in my life, I got an e-mail!!! not ANY e-mail but one coming from my new family!!!! I just felt so... strange! in the good sense of it, of course... What they say to me is sooo sweet that I was drinking each one of the words rather than listening to them as Encarna was reading the e-mail. It's true that nobody is perfect, but I'm sure, I know, that my future family will be the closest thing to perfection I will ever know. I'm so excited and nervous....

Encarna promised me we will go back to the hairdresser just before I meet them... they think of me I'm a charming dog but charm, if it smells good, it's much better :-)

Life is a constant change. For years I've been afraid of changes, I've learned changes meant always losing someone I loved, first my mum, then my family, so I ended up whishing no more changes in my life, better being ok with the present situation, since it can only go worse. But this time... now I'm willing for this change to happen, I have the feeling deep down inside that this time will be the one! I look at my reflexion in the glass door and I can see I'm different. It makes me feel so good to think that someone loves me! and they do so even in the distance and without having met me in person (well in 'dog' would be more like it) and they tell me the will accept me as I am because everybody has the right to be imperfect. That makes them just PERRRRRRRRRRFECT to me!!!

I'm longing to meet you, my family, Birgit, Heiner, Angie and Dani... and I made Encarna promisse me that next weekend (if rain allows it) she will take some new pics so that you can judge by yourselves if I'm as fat as Encarna is telling me over and over :-)

****

june 15th 2008

The pix issue... it went twisted. Believe it or not, it was raining again!!!!! Humans say these last two months have been rain record of last who-knows-how-many years, but they say too, this has been the driest year of the last 30... can it be more nonsense?

So a promise is a promise and here come the pics... indoor, though. I wanted to look beautiful and shiny under the spring sun, but I guess it will have to wait. And I asked specially for a close up of my ALMOST non-exixting belly, so that you can check for yourselves... not a single gram of fat, all mussles and I'm not 'hiding' it, as Encarna suggests... she's mean, isn't she?

Do you think maybe now she will add some more food to my dish??? Sniffff.

My 'non-existing' belly

Puh! none of the book is in german :-(

Am I nice or not? :-))))))

During our morning walk, under huge grey clouds (luckily it was not raining at that moment) I've met my beagle friend and we were playing. It's fun because the little beagle is active and he likes to 'cheat' trying to get me by my back... he always forgets I'm taller than him and we end up both on the grass with the leashes tangled up and our walkers trying to lose them... ha, ha, haaaaa.

I hope the noon walk can be longer, if it doesn't rain, that is.

A big, big, big leak for Brigit, Heiner, Angie & Dani. I think of you a lot

****

june 24th 2008

Yesterday I witnessed an example of what can be the END OF THE WORLD!!!!

Fire, big deafening noise... hellgates were open and all evil thunder and lightning went lose. Nope, I'm not overreacting at all. Last few days were announcing this was coming. After that first incident -when after an awfull sudden noise I sped out leaving behind a wet trace of pee and dragging Encarna after me- she told me that was nothing important, it was only the previous days to the big popular and quite old celebration, 'pagane' she said, where people welcome the summer arrival, the changing of old things for new ones, that's why they colect old furnitures and then the night of 23rd, they burn it all, since seems that fire means pure.

I swear I trust Encarna, I usually believe what she tells me but... how can I believe humans being so stupid to do such a nasty and unbearable thing to calebrate...whatever??? where's the fun in going through a war scenario, surrounded by an awfull noise, dense smoke, fire and powder smell all over???

In case someone still thinks I'm overreacting, I managed to get some evidence to prove that madness that sets in in most of humans for a few hours. There!

ehem... I'm not showing in any of the pics for a good reason : I was hiding under a big blanket...

****

July 4th 2008

What a stresss!!!! There is such a big knot in my stomach that I... ahem, I was about to say it won't let me eat, but that wouldn't be true. TOMORROW I'LL MEET MY NEW FAMILY :-) They will come to visit me and next week I will finally move with them. I'm so... excited! and I have so many things to do... get a bath, have all of my nails cut, try to calm down a little, have a bite (or two) to recover my strength, pack my things, have some rest from all the stress, eat something, you know, to recover my strength... To sum : the whole day full. Besides, I still have to say good bye to all the friends I made here.

When I come to think a little, I feel strange. I always knew when things went well and when they went bad, when to be happy and when to be sad. But now it's like both happyness and sadness 'departments' in my brain would have wide opened and mixed up all its content. How can that be? Encarna told me a few days ago she felt 'sadly happy' for my departure. I thought this was another of those excentric ways she gets me used to, but now I feel exactly that way : happy and excited for my new family and my new life and at the same time, sad and already missing friends and places. Frankly I hope that the myth about the dogs becoming like their humans be just that, a myth... what if it's not?

Well, I think this is a good bye, or at least a 'see you...whenever' . All those who helped and loved me, will travel with me, in my heart, I even will forgive them for the socks they made me wear :-) . And those who will share their lives with me from now on I already feel them as a part of me... I wish all my brothers in pain, abandoned and lonely were as lucky as I am, since among the milions of people in this world, I just found those having a great big heart

****

Last Wednesday in the morning we finally arrived home. Home- what a nice word! I have got a real home now!

As you can possibly believe I was terribly excited. I was so excited I nearly forgot to eat :). Everything was new and different. There were so many things to discover.

The first days I ran after my family the whole time just to be with them. I tried to absorb every bit of attention and every sweet word.

Many people have visited us yet and I always showed my best side :). I already found some friends, my new best friend is the dish washer right after the fridge :). No, I also have some human friends and doggy friends, even one I can communicate with ( he also comes from Spain).

Still, I have some language problems. Though I understand the word "NEIN" I widely try to ignore it :).

Sunday I already had to defend my home because I had to tell the neighbours' dog that the house and the garden is my territory now. My family was a bit suprised : it was the first time they heard me barking and they weren't even sure I could. What a question!

Yesterday we had a birthday party. Ashra the dog of "my" new grandma came as well. Her I also had to show first who is the master of the house. I tolerated her in the garden, but I kept running after her in the house to observe what she was doing.

But besides there were also so many children who petted and fondled me- that was really great: me in the centre of attraction.

After such exciting days I fall asleep very tired in the evenings, unfortunately my family then always notices quite amused that I snore.

By the way I'm very sorry Yolanda, but I don't really like the your bed. So I got a pillow with a blanket on it to sleep on.

And yipee!!!! today Dani let me loose on the walk. I was really happy, I never got home that soon. I immediately turned around and went back :).

Sometimes I think my life is just a dream. I can't believe that everything is really that perfect. Then I'm afraid of falling asleep and waking up, realizing that everything has gone.

Thank you Encarna, Yolanda, Marian and all the others for everything you did to me. Remember we dogs have memories and there will always be a place for you in my heart.

Neska